You Might Be A Spammer If.....

I just love this one. I've been collecting items for the "You might be a spammer if....." list for a while, and since I've been inundated with unwanted email lately, now is the time to post.

Like you, I hate spam. I don't mind being solicited, but don't hit me with the same thing over and over (that's spam). Here's the list.

You might be a spammer if:

• you send me something in a language I don't understand.

• everything you tweet, post or email is an ad to buy your music/book/art etc.

• all of your links are to your shopping cart or affiliates.

• your email is nothing but an add for your newest album/book/project.

• you send something "fascinating" that you've found to people you don't know.

• you send an unsolicited email with your music attached.

• you send a press release to people who aren't journalists. 

• you send a holiday e-card.

• you buy lists.

• more people unsubscribe than open your email.

• you're afraid to include your name and number in your newsletter.

• you're a 3 person company but have enough telecommunications and Internet equipment to power Norway.

• you're forced to keep all of your company's assets in the Cayman Islands.

• your ISP has quietly engaged a hit man to eliminate you, and your mother has contributed funds to the contract.

Some of these were funny, but most are dead serious. No one likes a spammer. Don't do it.

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